no thank you...

43 degrees C with the humidex... = 109.4 degrees F!

today, my boss says to me, "wanna know what sierra leone is like? go outside!"

no thank you.

...

you know you've reached *a certain age* when you're no longer just tagging along with your mom to tupperware, mary kay, pampered chef parties but are actually getting your own invitations...

put the blame on me...

i'm starting to feel picked on at work... and i don't really think i'm just being sensative or paranoid and here's why:

1) the conference breakfast: attendees were fed the deluxe breakfast for kings. when asked why we got this when we always get the cheap coffee-and-muffin breakfast, they responded, "jamie approved it." i now have to find non-existent paperwork where i "approved" it.

2) the newsletters: they came back from the printer's with GREEN ink. when asked why it was green instead of our traditional blue, they responded, "that's what jamie asked for." i then had to go back and find the two separate emails in which i specifically asked for the blue. maybe if they actually read their email...

3) the government form: apparently was never received by the government. but guess who was the one who actually mailed it out? that's right, JAMIE!!! so i get three phone calls this morning before 9:30 am (yes, a saturday when nothing with the government can be done and when i'm sleepin in for once!) trying to figure out when, where, what i mailed. yes, i mailed it priority so there are tracking numbers; yes, i gave you the tracking numbers with the receipt for which you reimbursed me; no i don't remember where you were and why YOU didn't mail it; yes, i do remember mailing them very vividly. sigh. the good news is that tracking them online says they were delivered. so hopefully it's not actually my fault.

and now i'm getting a paranoia complex.

10 points to whoever can name this movie:

and 50 billion bonus points for naming the song.

*hint: it's been like this around here lately

who remembers puff paints? anyone...ANYone?

i used to paint everything with that stuff; those cheap $2 canvas sneakers from ames (speaking of obsolete things from the 80's...), tote bags for 4-H, and i remember that one year for my mom's birthday i painted this black t-shirt all over with neon puff paints. like seriously, all over. i don't ever remember her actually wearing it (clever yet cruel). i think i (gasp!) ended up wearing it. it got washed so much that the puff paint was cracking and peeling off. aaah, puff paint.

ps. i did go to the gym today so you can stop harrassing me!

reason(s) why i don't need to have kids...

so i woke up around 3:30 am and had to pee. now, i normally get up to pee in the early hours of the morning (that is why they call them wee hours isn't it?) but then i heard the dog whining. now, it's not unusual for him to whine, but not that early either. he usually makes it til at least 6:30 or later when i normally get up.

so i got up, went to the bathroom, and headed back to bed thinking that the dog probably just heard a noise outside or something and would settle down if i ignored him.

after a few minutes of listening to the incessant whining, i remembered that he'd had a lot of water, had hidden in the back of his crate, and refused to go outside before going to bed. so i thought i'd better go let him out. i let him out of his crate and aimed him outside and he peed and came back in.

so then i tried to put him back in his crate, but he dragged his heels and i had to push his bum in pretty forcefully. then i noticed wet footprints and thought, oh, it must've rained again and he'd gotten wet outside.

but then i watched him for a minute and he didn't lay down. he just stood there hunched against the gate of his crate. it didn't smell like beagle barf (he occasionally spews in his crate because he eats pretty much everything and makes himself sick and it smells up the entire house) but i thought i'd better actually look inside his crate just to make sure.

so on goes the light, open goes the gate, and out springs the dog who was standing ankle deep in...pee. so dog went promplty to the tub and he got a 3:30am scrub down. he insisted on pretending to be a wet pinball while i sopped up his crate. he bing-banged around the house so loudly it's a miracle norm didn't wake up. (convenient for him) so wet dog got to sleep on the green chair for the rest of the night because i wanted to actually hose/soap down his crate before locking him back in.

moral of the story: if you, your dog, or your kids drink lots of water before bed, build an ark and be prepared for a flood.

we miss melissa

when you were weary, we would have saved you a seat...

and when you were hungry, you would have been given beans...

and when you were thirsty, we would have given you wine.

dearest melissa, we miss you! (and by "we," i don't just mean terry, he just happend to be the one sitting next to "your" seat and providing you with nourishment.)

[@work] little funny foo foos...

FiRsTlY~~~~~~
boss lady (hereafter referred to as bl): have you seen any cream cheese?
me: uhhh....you lost cream cheese?
bl: i left some on the counter to soften and now i can't find it.
me: no... maybe someone put it back in the fridge?
bl: no, i looked, i can't find it.
me: i dunno...
a couple hours later...
bl: i found it!
me: where!?
bl: in the dessert i made last night.

SeCoNdLy~~~~~~
boss man was showing me something on the computer and i looked down to see something kinda hairy crawling on my arm. (not my arm hair). now i tend to overreact to things like that so i tried to be all cool and collected and not be obvious about it. cuz realistically, it could've been nothing, just a fuzzy or whatever. so i *tried* to nonchalantly brush my arm off but i was kinda freaked. so then it was gone and i was relieved but apparently my nonchalance didn't work. boss man said, "what is the matter with you?" and i turned to look at him and he had a big squished centipede corpse on his arm! i had flung it there in all my "coolness."

photo proof!

so i know that it doesn't sound funny that a man was sunbathing in the park...but... here are some photos, maybe you'll think it's funny now. he's the little spot between the trees.

see how close the road is? he's not even really *in* the park! he's along the road! just sitting, chillin...

oh, the sun came out, better lay down!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and in other news, we decided to go to the in-laws' pool the other day (as we've been doing lately since it's been so deathly hot). we grabbed our stuff, the dog, and were out the door. when we got there, i went into the bathroom to change and looked down to the floor and saw this:
yes, i know what you're thinking. jamie is NOT that scatterbrained to ACTUALLY be WEARING TWO DIFFERENT FLIP FLOPS! but alas, i'm sorry to burst your bubble, apparently i am. thankfully, we hadn't gone anywhere public and the in-laws weren't home. so i only had to confess my humiliation to norm. and then we laughed. a lot. the end.

golden nuggets...

one. at the mall yesterday gettin oma's b-day card walking by one of those random skanky girl type stores, these two old men were admiring a jean mini-skirt on the rack in the doorway. one got excited and commented, "whoa, whoa!"

two. i almost have a tan! (true story)

three. at oma's cottage for her bday party on the beach, this little girl asked, "excuse me, do you know what is that green stuff?" and pointed to sea weed. my reply, "sea weed." she walked away.

four. the other day, across the street at the park, there was a guy sitting in a lawn chair on the road-side of the park trying to get a tan. i'm not sure why, but i find this hysterical.

five. it's so darned mother lovin HOT round these here parts that my shorts have become one with my plether/vinyl(?) chair.

argh

they gym is from the devil. (and so are oreos).

love it...

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean," Guigli wrote.

read the whole story here.

the only fireworks i've seen this year have been on tv...

don't ask me how i feel about that.

i just watched the end of the macy's fireworks show (who knew this was an annual thing?) and it made me feel... far away. i couldn't feel the fireworks booming in my chest, i couldn't see the entire mass of the show, and i couldn't hear the ooh's and aah's of the crowd. all i got was what the cameras could capture and i know i missed out.

i know i'm not the most patriotic american out there, but still...

happy 4th of july...

do unto others as you would have them do unto you... treat others how you want to be treated...

how many times have we heard things like this? wise, yes. overused, possibly. but on sunday my pastor put it a little differently and said that real love is treating people how you think Jesus would treat them.

huh. for some reason, that struck me a little more pointedly than the "golden rule."

go here. why? cuz it's fun. why? cuz i said so! so? so go! why? NOW!!!!

http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf

my life in four

A) FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:

library "page" aka book-putter-away-er
cashier
KEY cashier/shift supervisor/pharmacy tech (oooh special)
admin. ass(istant).

B)FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AND OVER:

dance with me
pirates of the caribbean
pride & prejudice
the notebook

C) FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:

romulus, ny (us)
brockport, ny (us)
st. catharines, on (canada)
hamilton, on (canada)

D) FOUR T.V. SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH:
grays anatomy
so you think you can dance (and no i don't)
csi
dr. phil

E) FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:

florida
israel
holland
mexico

F) FOUR WEB SITES I VISIT DAILY (OR ALMOST DAILY!):

gmail
my blog
melissa's blog
google

G) FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:

onion rings
popcorn
guacamole
fresh cherries

H) FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:

mexico
mexico
vancouver
mexico