reason(s) why i don't need to have kids...

so i woke up around 3:30 am and had to pee. now, i normally get up to pee in the early hours of the morning (that is why they call them wee hours isn't it?) but then i heard the dog whining. now, it's not unusual for him to whine, but not that early either. he usually makes it til at least 6:30 or later when i normally get up.

so i got up, went to the bathroom, and headed back to bed thinking that the dog probably just heard a noise outside or something and would settle down if i ignored him.

after a few minutes of listening to the incessant whining, i remembered that he'd had a lot of water, had hidden in the back of his crate, and refused to go outside before going to bed. so i thought i'd better go let him out. i let him out of his crate and aimed him outside and he peed and came back in.

so then i tried to put him back in his crate, but he dragged his heels and i had to push his bum in pretty forcefully. then i noticed wet footprints and thought, oh, it must've rained again and he'd gotten wet outside.

but then i watched him for a minute and he didn't lay down. he just stood there hunched against the gate of his crate. it didn't smell like beagle barf (he occasionally spews in his crate because he eats pretty much everything and makes himself sick and it smells up the entire house) but i thought i'd better actually look inside his crate just to make sure.

so on goes the light, open goes the gate, and out springs the dog who was standing ankle deep in...pee. so dog went promplty to the tub and he got a 3:30am scrub down. he insisted on pretending to be a wet pinball while i sopped up his crate. he bing-banged around the house so loudly it's a miracle norm didn't wake up. (convenient for him) so wet dog got to sleep on the green chair for the rest of the night because i wanted to actually hose/soap down his crate before locking him back in.

moral of the story: if you, your dog, or your kids drink lots of water before bed, build an ark and be prepared for a flood.